Pons Asinorum
by Clara Barton
Summary: A wedding on a boat. Fluffy one shot.


Blaming this entirely on greeneyes-softsighs (for the boat idea) and sans-voir (for the tattoo)

Warnings: language, fluff

Pairings: 2x3, 1x5

He checked the time on his phone. 3:45. Damn.

It would be rude to leave so soon, after only twenty minutes at the reception but still - Duo closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath as the boat deck rocked.

Who the fuck got married on a boat in November?

He opened his eyes and gulped down the rest of his whiskey before glaring over at the newly married couple, happily dancing away on the completely empty dance floor, the only ones with iron willed stomachs capable of rhythmic movement with the winter storm crashing against the boat.

Heero and Wufei were smiling at each other. Smirking at each other. Probably laughing about the fact that a third of their guests were puking, another third were clutching their tables or seats and praying for death and the last third were contemplating murder suicides because there was no way they would go down alone.

Duo, obviously, was in the last third.

Even if Heero and Wufei did look cute together, insanely happy and sure. Sure. Duo was happy for them to but did they have to get married on a fucking _boat_?

"Going to make it there, sailor?"

Duo turned, way too fast, to see the smirking face of Wufei's best man, Trowa Barton.

Trowa, defying human logic and expectations, didn't appear the least bit seasick.

Duo tried not to let his eyes linger, but Trowa knew how to wear that pink blue dress shirt, skinny suspenders and blue and white checked tie to perfection. He was unreasonably hot.

Duo fingered the open collar of his own shirt - pink. He'd already undone his red and white checked bowtie and let it dangle over his shirt. It was hard enough to breathe without being choked at the same time. His abandoned Ray Bans hung there as well, a futile gesture of optimism as the weather had not cooperated with Duo's hopes and dreams.

"I'm fine."

"You're empty," Trowa nodded at Duo's empty glass.

Duo frowned and looked at it mournfully and then over at the bar. Across the deck. There was no way he could make it.

Trowa chuckled.

"What are you drinking?"

"Whatever will make me pass out the quickest," Duo muttered. Trowa started to walk away. "Whiskey, " he called after.

Trowa held up two fingers over his shoulder to indicate he had heard.

Duo looked back at Wufei and Heero again.

Yeah, he was happy for his best friend and even though this meant no more drunken hookups because Wufei would castrate them both, Duo was happy for him.

Trowa was back, quicker than Duo would have expected, but then again the bar was deserted.

Duo accepted the drink and gulped greedily.

"I'm guessing you would say no to a dance," Trowa said, his voice soft and amused.

Duo snorted.

"You kidding? Do you _want_ me to vomit all over your sexy self?"

He realized too late he'd said that out loud.

Trowa was smirking at him.

"I'm quick on my feet, I could probably avoid the vomit."

Duo shook his head and then regretted the action.

"No. I'm glad there's no bouquet or garter or whatever shit they toss. Can you imagine this sorry lot trying to stagger around and catch it?"

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"You really think Wufei's not wearing a garter under his pants?"

Duo did a doubletake, looking over the legs of Wufei's tight trousers but he couldn't tell. He'd always thought the dark haired man was kinky and he wondered…

"Come on. Let's go stand by the rail."

"You mean closer to death."

"I mean closer to fresh air."

Trowa's hand on Duo's elbow was light but firm at the same time and Trowa was right - once outside he could breathe better and he didn't feel so close to death.

"I didn't realize you had a tattoo."

Duo looked up and saw that Trowa was staring at his chest, at the few letters of his tattoo that were visible.

"Well, you went to the boring bachelor party," Duo reminded him.

For Heero's bachelor party, Duo had liquored up his best friend and paid for strippers that turned out to be women, who had then delighted in forcing Duo to strip for a very drunk and not very appreciative Heero.

He'd heard from Heero, grumpily whining, that Trowa had taken Wufei to a spa. A spa. How gay were they?

"I organized the boring bachelor party," Trowa reminded him.

"Yeah, well…"

"What does it say?"

Duo drew in a deep breath.

"Pons Asinorum."

"Latin."

"Yeah - you know Latin?"

Trowa shook his head in the negative and Duo felt a small measure of relief at that."

"I didn't realize you did."

Duo shrugged.

"Classics major in undergrad. Which, as you may have guessed, is super helpful in my current line of work doing technical writing."

Trowa smirked.

"What does it mean?"

"It means don't get shit faced drunk the week of finals and follow a hot guy into a tattoo parlor."

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"It...it means bridge of asses."

Trowa nodded, his face straight, his eyes cool as he stared out at the stormy water.

He took a sip from his drink.

And then his lips twitched, just the bottom left corner, but then the right, and then he was smirking and then he was laughing, rich and deep and Duo didn't even care that he was being laughed at.

Trowa had to wipe away tears once he had finished laughing.

"What do you tell people it means?"

"A critical test of ability."

Trowa arched an eyebrow.

"It _does_ mean that," Duo muttered. "Kind of."

"Right."

"Oh just fuck right off," Duo said, but he had to smile when he saw that Trowa was still smirking in amusement. "People usually think it's deep."

Trowa plucked at Duo's left suspender.

"I don't need a Latin tattoo to tell me you're deep, Duo."

Duo arched an eyebrow.

"All I have to do is look into your eyes."

Duo stared.

"You - Trowa! That was - Jesus fuck, man. That was _awful_."

Trowa shrugged.

"At least I don't have bridge of asses on my chest."


End file.
